scholarship

a couple of weeks ago I went to a dance convention in vancouver. In the weeks leading up to it I was debating whether or not I should even go. There was the money factor plus there was not going to be any tap dancing which is one of my favorite forms of dance. After much internal debate and one swipe of my credit card I decided I would go after all. One of the main reasons I decided to go was to dance for me and for nobody else. When I typically dance I dance for the exercise, for the social elements, and for the people watching and to put on a good show. Of course I dance because I love to dance but this was more about focusing on the art of dancing just for myself and for nobody else.

When I was dancing I got everything out of the convention that I had hoped. I was challenged and danced all kinds of styles and learned new things. Beyond that going to a convention like this re-inspires. When I walked into the big room and saw all the different dancers and different clicks of different and exceptional skill levels its and interesting emotion that came over me. Excitement, anxious, nervous, intimidated, lonely all bundled into one. A great weekend

At the end of the weekend there was a segment giving out scholarships to different levels of dancers. I signed up as a teacher so I was not eligible for a scholarship. the organizers announced the people who won different levels of scholarships and then told all those listening that a teacher scholarship was introduced. I, having danced all weekend was tired didn't think I would win. I especially didn't think I would win because I had seen a number of other dancers who I thought were very deserving. Long story short, I won the scholarship.

I was ridiculously surprised. After I giggled to myself and realized I won and the reality of the moment hit me the implication of the scholarship hit me. And it was the implication of the scholarship that really made me feel good.

first off, there were a tonne of dancers in that room that were phenomenal so winning the scholarship validated that I could at least keep up with those dancers. I KNOW I was NOT one of the best dancers in that room but I at least kept up with them which is a wonderful validation.

winning also told me that the teachers saw something in me. I doubt that the scholarship was won exclusively on dance ability. I dressed up on halloween, tried to be friendly, and did have a chance to talk to a couple of the teachers. I guess winning the scholarship told me that there was something about me that makes me different (in a good way). In a room of over 150 dancers it could be hard to stand out. I was the only person in the room with a beard. maybe the beard won.

Finally, the scholarship gave confidence and renewed passion. In a way winning the scholarship gave me my mojo back . I went back to the dance studio reinvigorated with my own dancing and in my teaching and choreography. So much more than the little piece of paper that is the scholarship winning it has done great strides in building my confidence as a dancer/teacher/choreographer. So something that I didn't think would happen and that I was eligible for has turned into a magnificent building block for my dancing moving forward.

how many times?

I was contemplating the other day how often parents say their kids names. Then I began to wonder what the actual number of times a parent says their child's name. Please feel free to guess in the comments link at the bottom of this post. So if you care to venture a guess here are the rules: the time period is from when the child is in the womb to when it turns 18, and the name only counts when the parents is referencing the child or talking to the child. my guess is 350,000 times.

highway lines

I was driving on the highway the other day and I noticed in a way I hadn't noticed before the line (or multiple lines I guess) that tell us which lane we are in and drive over when we switch lanes. I began to wonder how long these lines are. I always thought of them as quite short but when I looked I began to wonder how long they actually were. when traveling at 100km/h it is hard to judge exact distance. I came up with the idea that the lines are probably about 8 or 9 feet each. When I asked my beloved partner (out of the blue) how long she thought they were she said maybe 2 or 3 feet to which we disagreed, examined the lines, looked at the lines seperating oncoming traffic and decided that they were longer. So i pose this question to my readers. how long do you think one of the white lines of the line divider are? and if you do think about it when you are driving, does your mind change from the original answer you have reading this before looking at it while driving. I have no idea how long they actually are. these are the things that I think of.

already failed

so my intention was to quit christmas consumerism and I have already failed in the essence of completely quitting. without my knowledge I was put into one of my jobs "seceret pals" it is the equivalent to secret santa and goes every week until christmas break. so I have already had to make purchases in the spirit of christmas. This is even before Halloween. Oh well, I'm still sticking to it the best I can.

don't lie

in chatting with a coworker and friend the other day we came to the conclusion that adults are really just a bunch of hypocrites. This all started how we were talking about how wouldn't it be wonderful if we were all as honest as children. Kids just say thing without any ego, any worry of how it is interpreted, and any worry of sparing feelings.

How wonderful would it be if we all were so bluntly honest. People would express their true feelings and call other people on their shit much more often.

as good as that would be I thought about how we lie and are hypocrites. One lesson fed to kids over and over and over again is the importance of honesty. I am one of the most honest people I know but I certainly lie from time to time like anyone else. So here we have a situation where the adults and grown-ups of the world are spouting the importance of honesty and punishing dishonesty when we ourselves go through the world lying frequently.

teen challenge

the other day I had a conversation with a teenage high school student. she was telling me that she wanted to try out for her school cheer leading team but was hesitant because was worried it would be full of nerds. long story short the conversation boiled down to me challenging her as to what exactly constitutes a nerd. I give her credit for being able to honestly answer me despite some hesitation. I love challenging people on their thoughts. Many times I challenge others on their beliefs they tend to tell me to shut up, or ask me why I'm asking, or tell me I'm being weird. When I hear these replies it typically translates to "your making me uncomfortable or I'm ashamed of my answer or I don't want to tell you" This particular young lady was able to verbalize what she thought even though she was not too pleased with her answer. So I thought to myself: if someone asked you a challenging question about your beliefs would you be able to answer it out loud? A question about our personnel prejudice would be a good example.
It's worth thinking about and I'm not sure many of us are able to answer the tough questions. could you?

Quitting Christmas Consumerism

I have decided this year to give up the consumerism of christmas. by this I mean NO presents giving or receiving. This was a decision I had made a couple of months ago but was an idea I had entertained last year. I just feel that as I get older christmas loses mroe and more of its magic and the reason for this is because people get wrapped up in the consumerism. I love chritmas. I love hanging out with friends and family and drinking and eating and just being in one anothers company. What takes away from this more and more each year is the pressure to buy buy BUY!

The reasons for me to quit christmas consumerism are a few. Teh first I think is a test for myself to see if I can infact do it and that I truly want to do it and I am not trying to convince myself of some society challenging idea that I am not behind.

the second reason for this is to save money. In years past I have spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on gifts. Many of which I wanted to buy but there were certainly many along the way that I felt I had to buy. gift exchanges or gifts to reciprocate when I knew some were coming my way. Let's stop the waste of cash.

The third is to challenge other people's way of thinking. This is an idea I have had simmering on my mental back burners for a few years and am now putting into action. If I am thinking this and willing to make it happen there have got to be some others who feel the same way or at least have the thought somewhere in their brain as well. In my early claims of telling people my plans I have received mixed reviews. from "good idea" and "I agree" to flat out "why?" and my partner even saying about others "they won't be challenged, they will think your stupid."

So from now until christmas I am sure I will put up a few posts about this challenge of giving up christmas consumerism. If I am feeling the pressure, my responses from others, and the journey from now untill the end of December. Should be interesting.

identification

I noticed something the other day. the only jobs that require you have i.d. are the really low end jobs (fast food, grocery store, mall cop etc.) and really high end and dangerous jobs (surgeons, pro athletes, cops, military). Interesting how the mid range jobs do not have name tags or the name sewn right in. In fact, its not only name tags but the notion of wearing a uniform as well. so the next time you find yourself wearing a name tag ask yourself: are you working a well respected and high paying job? or not so much?

the scooter wave

I got a scooter a few months ago. I was so thrilled to get it as I have wanted one for years. One of the appeals of the scooter life was (albeit a small one) was the scooter community. I would watch scooterers wave at each other the way bikers do and bus drivers do and boaters do. you don't have to know these people to be friendly, it is simply sharing a passion, or at least a hobby, and the wave is a friendly gesture. who doesn't like when others are friendly. I got my first scooter wave about a month after getting my scooter and it felt amazing. like I was in some sort of club that before I could only watch from afar as they did their secret handshakes. Since receiving my first scooter wave I have since given out many and received many as well. lately there seems to be a lull in the kamloops scooter community. I've been dishing out the waves, the smiles, and the head nods and the response seems to have decreased. I seldom get the wave and one gentleman didn't even acknowledge the scooter wave... In any way! (the catalyst for this particular blogging). I'm not sure what forces are at work but I know I don't like it. I liked getting the wave. the smile is nice but it's no wave. My latest scooter acknowledgments seem to be a far cry form the early stages of the scootering which included waves and even on one occasion (from the passenger of a red vespa) a cheer of approval... which I reciprocated with a fist pump. Nothing like a good fist pump.
Anyways, I would like if more scooterers gave the wave. Although I did get a couple of high school kids encouraging me to "spill" today. I chose to disapoint them.

he makes lots of money

alright, so I can't help to talk about something I have noticed in the past couple months. A number of girl friends of mine have been in relationships for some time and whenever it comes up in conversation with old friends and new ones his income enters the conversation. What is interesting is that the conversation doesn't really progress to that direction, it seems to be brought up out of the blue. I understand that there is alot of pressure on men in this society to make lots of money and be the bread winner and take care of his woman but I find it interesting that the woman is bringing it up. It is not something I particularly care about hearing but for whatever reason this is a common topic that is being shared. interesting.

the urinal stand

I enjoy being a guy. One of the best traits of being male is the ability to pee anywhere (was great at camp), specifically to stand up. One specific time this is nice is at crowded events such as sporting events and concerts where there is a break in the entertainment and the people go flooding into the washroom and the line for the boys is short and moving quickly while the line for the women is long and slow moving.
As nice as this is I still find the setting in the male washroom interesting. For some reason a lot of guys stand at the urinal far after the liquid has drained. Many times I step up the the porcelain after a guy next to me has already been there for a a little bit and I finish and walk away and the guy is still there. I know he is done peeing for 2 reasons: 1) I don't think anybody can pee for a full minute mid-day (even first thing in the morning its a stretch) 2) if you stand behind them you can tell that no fluid is coming down..... ya, sometimes I look (but never from the side). So I am left wondering why guys do this.
Are they simply enjoying the quiet moment in the large noisy event or are they trying to silently brag? is there some sort of ego posturing where nobody talks and for some reason everyone stands a little bit too long showing everyone else that they have a large bladder? I don't know why this is but the guys standing too long at the urinal is a strange situation.

the return of the blog 2

so I started blogging again. this is my first entry in months because I was busy with school ending and going back to summer camp after three years off (I started this blog a long time ago)

In reading my past few entries I realized that my theme of late has been things that annoy me so I will depart from that today before I go on a rant on my next blog about guys in the washroom. today I deliver good news to my readers.

With school now over for me I wasn't sure where I would be living in the coming months whether it was going to be kamloops or edmonton. I am happy to report that I was able to land a couple of jobs and thus allowing me to live in kamloops for at least another year (dance season). stay tuned for interesting stories, the things that I find annoying, and whatever else I think to write of.