scholarship

a couple of weeks ago I went to a dance convention in vancouver. In the weeks leading up to it I was debating whether or not I should even go. There was the money factor plus there was not going to be any tap dancing which is one of my favorite forms of dance. After much internal debate and one swipe of my credit card I decided I would go after all. One of the main reasons I decided to go was to dance for me and for nobody else. When I typically dance I dance for the exercise, for the social elements, and for the people watching and to put on a good show. Of course I dance because I love to dance but this was more about focusing on the art of dancing just for myself and for nobody else.

When I was dancing I got everything out of the convention that I had hoped. I was challenged and danced all kinds of styles and learned new things. Beyond that going to a convention like this re-inspires. When I walked into the big room and saw all the different dancers and different clicks of different and exceptional skill levels its and interesting emotion that came over me. Excitement, anxious, nervous, intimidated, lonely all bundled into one. A great weekend

At the end of the weekend there was a segment giving out scholarships to different levels of dancers. I signed up as a teacher so I was not eligible for a scholarship. the organizers announced the people who won different levels of scholarships and then told all those listening that a teacher scholarship was introduced. I, having danced all weekend was tired didn't think I would win. I especially didn't think I would win because I had seen a number of other dancers who I thought were very deserving. Long story short, I won the scholarship.

I was ridiculously surprised. After I giggled to myself and realized I won and the reality of the moment hit me the implication of the scholarship hit me. And it was the implication of the scholarship that really made me feel good.

first off, there were a tonne of dancers in that room that were phenomenal so winning the scholarship validated that I could at least keep up with those dancers. I KNOW I was NOT one of the best dancers in that room but I at least kept up with them which is a wonderful validation.

winning also told me that the teachers saw something in me. I doubt that the scholarship was won exclusively on dance ability. I dressed up on halloween, tried to be friendly, and did have a chance to talk to a couple of the teachers. I guess winning the scholarship told me that there was something about me that makes me different (in a good way). In a room of over 150 dancers it could be hard to stand out. I was the only person in the room with a beard. maybe the beard won.

Finally, the scholarship gave confidence and renewed passion. In a way winning the scholarship gave me my mojo back . I went back to the dance studio reinvigorated with my own dancing and in my teaching and choreography. So much more than the little piece of paper that is the scholarship winning it has done great strides in building my confidence as a dancer/teacher/choreographer. So something that I didn't think would happen and that I was eligible for has turned into a magnificent building block for my dancing moving forward.