Travel

What does the word 'Travel' mean to you? 6 little letters and it explodes with meanings, ideas, hopes, memories, excitement, anxiety, dreams, melancholy and plenty more.

When I think about travelling and how the definition of that word has evolved for me over the years its a pretty remarkable word. As a child it meant being on my bike and going somewhere. When I got a bit older it meant extended car rides to spend time with friends or family (many childhood road trips). Later, I felt the word became a tool that I was inspired by, hearing and seeing cousins and others going on long trips abroad and the impact these trips had on them. One of my great learnings came when I realized that travel can be whatever you choose it to be (a trip to Montreal was especially key for this). Eventually I realized that travel can be limitless. Seeing people spend months or even years at a time travelling was pretty amazing to learn about. One constant, regardless of the age or travelling experience is that there is/was always a feeling of freedom.

Freedom is what defines travel for me now.

There is something utterly intoxicating about the idea of travelling. Even if you don't go on a trip, just thinking about the possibilities about what a trip can be, as small as a weekend away, is exciting. The laughs to be shared, the treats to be tasted, the weather to soak up, the experiences to try, the memories to be made. Even that last sentence right there probably sparked something in your mind as you read it. Travel is that powerful.

About 7 years ago I had a boss at a practicum who told me about the time she and her partner took one year off from their regular lives and travelled the world. One of them quit their job the other took a leave, they packed up their belongings and poof! they travelled the world. When I think back to key moments that shaped my ideas of travel this one shifted something within me. I had been intrigued and inspired by many other people's travels but this one more so. I think what really changed me was not only the scope but the apparent ease it was done with. Just pack up and go? don't worry about work? leave it all behind? is it that easy?

For the following 5 years I had a debate in my mind about the idea of 'travelling the world'. On the one hand it seemed so easy. Simply decide to do it and then do it. No more to it than that. On the other hand you had the 'what abouts'. What about the money? What about the people in my life? What about taking that much time? what about the things I currently enjoy doing, am I willing to sacrifice them? This argument simmered in my mind for a long time but really ramped up when I got my current job and the option of taking a leave from work presented itself. I would be able to save money and have a job to come back to. That cancelled off a few of my biggest 'What Abouts' but the debate still lingered.

There was so much that appealed about travelling and yet I still had so much in my mind convincing me that I couldn't do it or wasn't ready to do it. At one point I actually printed out the application for taking a leave at work and it sat on my desk for over a year blankly staring at me. I would hear stories about travel, read quotes, see articles, all of which was slowly increasing my desire. Then, by exposing myself to all the media about the benefits of travel the scales started to tip. The first was seeing a picture my sister posted on facebook. It basically said that the only thing stopping you from reaching your goals is the bullshit excuse you tell yourself. Very direct, and so true. There really was nothing holding me back. The second real shift happened reading an article about travelling benefits and the point that hit home was about how when you're older you won't remember the new pair of shoes you bought, you'll remember the adventures you had. My 'What Abouts' were slowly fading but these 2 moments along with all the smaller ones weren't enough, the debate still went on.

One day, maybe a month after reading the article about what you will remember when you're old I was sitting on my couch and it hit me. I knew with the time I needed if I were to do a trip of that scale that I needed to act soon, because if I didn't do it soon, it wasn't going to happen. Right then and there I decided that I was going to do it. I was going to travel around the world. What surprised me is the conviction I had in the decision, there wasn't even a doubt in my mind. I couldn't even tell you what about that moment triggered such a decisive decision. Of course, the decision was ruminating in my mind for years, but in that moment the concept shifted from an idea into a goal. That happened about a year and a half ago. As I write this I am 83 days away from departing on a 6 continent trip around the world using a 9 month leave from work to do it.

As I've been planning, at time I've felt overwhelmed and anxious but I've also been completely thrilled at the idea. The fact that this is happening is so exciting and I've never felt this level of freedom. anything is possible, to go anywhere is possible, to do absolutely anything is possible. I just needed to stop with the excuses.

capturing moments

A rare blog post. What the heck, I'm in the mood to tell a story.
 So tonight at dance I had one of those rare, awesome, special moments while teaching. These types of moments I've only experienced a handful of times as a teacher and the moments that every teacher/choreographer wishes they could capture all the time.
 I was presenting a new song, a new dance, a new costume idea to my class of teenage dancers. I could go into why this is an important moment, how opinionated students can be sometimes, how I feel like students don't understand the power of their words or just how much teachers actually care about their students but I will save all that. In this particular moment as I explained my idea, in its entirety, my students were excited.
 Let me be more clear, the students were thrilled at the concept I was going for. Everyone of them were excited to the point that they were smiling throughout, working hard, and expressing their desire to just learn more and more. It's hard to put into words just how powerful of a moment it is as a teacher and as a choreographer. This isn't specific to teaching dance either. Anybody who has lead any group for any length of time knows how special of a moment it is: when every single person you are leading not only buys in to what it is your wanting to give/teach/sell etc. but are genuinely excited about what you're giving/asking them and are eager to work their ass of for you to make your idea a reality. To have a group of people passionately support you and help you achieve something. well, that's just something special.
 I'm not sure if this brief story really does it justice but I thought I'd share.
 As an aside to this story, I obviously am writing on a blog I don't normally write on and in logging on tonight I see a comment was left on a post I made over 2 years ago. an anonymous student commented on how I helped them referencing my post about leaving KDA. I haven't worked there for some time and I don't even know who wrote it, but it sure makes me happy and feel like I'm doing something right.
 It's been a good day.

demo week

You know those days when you feel your mortality? you can feel that you're getting older, can't stay out as late, can't jump as high, run as fast, remember a name etc. I feel this almost daily as I look myself in the mirror and see the slow but unmistakable transition I am going through to become Frank (my dad). My forehead is getting bigger and my "yeaah gang" face is becoming more prominent. As I write this I am sitting in a dance class being run by another teacher. It's demo week which basically means that this is the one class a year that the parents and grandparents and whoever else who wants to come watch gets to come and watch in the front of the room and smile and watch and take photos. Today I feel my age! back in my day demo week featured me wearing some very bright, and noticeably tight, biking spandex shorts and these were the classes that had the pictures taken of which I still get to see. The biggest difference in demo week from when I did it to when these kids are doing it? when it was my demo week my dad would lug out the camcorder (which was the size of a small suitcase), set up the tripod, and then hook it up to the VCR so that it recorded!. he brought all of this to dance class and took up a small area of the room. by todays standards he would look like he was doing a national broadcast for monday night football! There is a grandmother sitting next to me who is filming her grand daughters ballet class on an iphone. grandmas is smiling, the child is gesturing over to her and trying to get noticed by teacher. Yes, I feel my age and see huge differences in technology but the experience of demo week seems to be fully intact and alive. why couldn't you just have used an iphone dad?

how old are you?

I was at work the other day and a co-worker of mine shared a story about some 20-somethings that she had encountered. this got me thinking about our ages and how we describe them. if we don't want to say the specific age of someone or of ourselves there is any easy way to be close without being specific. we will use the age group of 40-50 year olds. if someones age falls right ont he even decade (30,40 50) then thats easy we use that as their name. 41-43...early 40's. 44-46 mid 40's. 47-49 late 40's. so using this formula I am in my mid 20's. this of course, is not perfect science. if you don't knwo the specific age of the person you are referring to then you are probably guessign in which case if you guess young, chances are the person you are referring to will be pleased. if you guess too old, well then thats your mistake. and this my friends, you can take to the bank.

backing in

most people who have driveways or parking spots to park their car at the end of the day do not have the luxury or having a "drive through" spot. you need to stop in your garage, stall, or spot. In the morning when it is time to drive again you must back out your vehicle and start your day. How come hardly anyone backs in when parking? either way at some point you're going to have to drive in reverse. I try to back in when parking. here is why, 1) when you hop in your car and just start driving it feels bad ass to just go. 2) sometimes (or often, if you're like me and wait till the last minute) you're in a rush and you can save some precious seconds by not having to back out. nobody ever arrives home in a rush, but lots of people leave in a rush. so I ask you world, why don't more people back in when parking?

Leaving KDA

a while back I ended my employment at KDA. After the feelings and emotions of leaving subsided I started reflecting on my time at KDA.
When I think back on my time there I can't help but think about the huge impact my time there made on me not only as a dancer but as a person.
I arrived in 2007 and got the job on a recomendation of a previous teacher, I was ready to not dance thinking that I would be focusing exclusively on school. Luckily, I was fortunate to be given a job.

I will take much from my time at KDA. I learned and gained lots: I had a love of hip hop ignited in me making me a better, more rounded, and more confident dancer. I learned how to cultivate "class culture" by trying to give my students the most enjoyable and most productive class possible. I learned how the minds of teenage girls work, although I still have lots to learn on that one. The biggest thing I will take though is my passion for teaching and mentoring. I love dancing and taking class but being able to pass on knowledge and ideas to me was the most rewarding.

The times I felt best as a teacher is when the class was doing exercises or choreography and just catching the smiles on the faces of the students. Seeing your students smile was always worth way more than any compliments after class. I know it sounds corny but its so true. The other moments that were really great for me is explaining a move or step and having students give me the look of "I can't do that" or "you're kidding" on their face and then within 10 minutes after practicing it a few times and maybe with a little bit of instruction they did it just fine, and again see the smile on their face. Once I became comfortable teaching I really starting emphasizing personal growth. Repeatedly I tried to make students aware of their attitudes and how that impacts every aspect of dance/life and how skills and attitudes in dance transfer to life. Some days I left the studio feeling like a motivational speaker but that's just how it goes.

I enjoyed my time at the studio and I loved teaching. my students know how much I certainly loved using quotes: "practice dancing nervous" "how you are in dance is how you are in life" "never say can't" and so forth. I will look back on my time with countless good memories. I hope that my impact on my students is so much more than learning how to do a pickup, wing, or scuffle and that they carry a good attitude with them moving forward. With my common use of quotes one of the ones I always told myself and tried to apply myself was "Young dancers are training at a very vulnerable time in their lives...
So train the whole person, not just the dancer."
~ Deborah Bull


some of my favorite quotes:
When you take dancing lessons,
you learn steps and you learn steps and you learn steps.
It can go on for a long time.
And then one day, you just learn to dance,
and it is so different.
~ Bill Austin

The mirror is not you (dancing).
The mirror is you looking at yourself.
~ George Balanchine

Nothing happens in the body 
without happening in the brain first...
dancing is 95% mental.
~ Bobby Boling, A Dancer's Manual

The only way to do it is to do it.
~ Merce Cunningham

All dance has expression. If there is no expression, I prefer the circus.
The performers do more dangerous, more difficult technical things than we do.
But we are dancers. We have to express and we have to project.
~ Luis Fuente

What we hope ever to do with ease,
we must first learn to do with diligence.
~ Samuel Johnson

Everyday there must be something I can't do,
 otherwise it's boring.
~ Monet Robie

Dancing's just a conversation between two people.
 Talk to me.
~ Steven Rogers, "Hope Floats"

Dance is the only art
of which we ourselves 
are the stuff of which it is made.
~ Ted Shawn

The mediocre teacher tells. 
The good teacher explains.
 The superior teacher demonstrates.
 The great teacher inspires.
~ William Arthur Ward


And finally....

Try to respect the student's spiritual feeling and intelligence.
 A human being is in your hands.
 If you don't love your students, it's better you don't teach.
 Give the truth always.
~ Maestro Hector Zaraspe

Thanks KDA, it's been a slice.

car shopping

towards the end of October I decided to buy a car. It was an idea I was throwing my head for some time but the desire to buy a car was growing and growing and so I started to look.

side note: I love my scooter, but it can only do so much.

As I started to look for cars I wasn't sure what type of car to get: used, private, used dealership, or new. Buying a brand new car I wrote off relatively quickly, mostly because I still have plenty of student debt and didn't want to be making large monthly payments while still having all my student debt looming. So anyways, I decided to buy used and so I started looking and man was it frustrating.

inevitably there were two main issues: 1) when a private sale the car seemed to be a good deal but there was always something wrong with it> oh it's great but it needs new tires, oh it's great but is missing a strut, oh it's great but the timing belt is going to need to be replaced soon. every car I looked at there was at least one major issue that would have taken more time and money to replace therefore eliminating any cost savings. I actually found one car that I really loved but as I arranged with the guy to buy it from him someone else had looked at it and offered money on the spot. 2) when looking at a dealership you have to deal with car salesmen. normally salespeople are kind of irritating but they are just doing their job but I really hate car salespeople. they try and create a person connection with you and be your buddy at the same time try to manipulate you every step of the way. I just hate the power game they play trying to make you feel like they are in charge and you march to their drum. I'm the one who's willing to pay the money, might not hurt treating me like an intelligent human. the worst is when you start doing the price dance. you haggle and the sales person inevitably says "I'll bring this to my manager". suddenly the guy who's been telling you everything he can personally do for you such as maintenance and special offers has absolutely no power and must go to a different room and talk to someone that I as the consumer don't even see or talk to and come out with a slightly number. and then the sales person tells you "that's the best I can do". my initial reaction is "F*#& you that's all you can do" this guy is suddenly helpless and wants to convince me he did everything he could to get me the best deal. YA RIGHT!

I went and saw a number of private sales and even went to a few dealerships and when the dealers were just too big of schmucks I left. regardless of how good the car is, if the experience of buying the car is bad.... I'm out.

In the end I bought an old toyota. I could have probably have gotten it cheaper but I was done with the car search and just wanted a vehicle at that point.