I'm cocky? maybe you lack confidence.

I've been told I'm cocky, which I certainly act sometimes and am even less. yes, I have a cocky streak but I think overall I'm fairly humble. anyways when I'm told Im cocky I have started to thin about who is telling me and in what context. it seems that the people who have issue with me acting or being cocky are the people who I think generally have lower self-esteem than others.

I am almost always confident... which is sometimes misinterpreted as cocky, and I have high-self-esteem and I personally like when I see athletes and performers who are cocky so long as they don't put down others while doing it. it is much different to say "I am the best" than saying "you suck and I will destroy you." I almost never have an issue with someone being cocky. I find it entertaining and if its the truth why not say it. if someone says they are the best and are the best whats wrong with saying that?

I can't help but think that when some people see skills or personality that they are envious of they feel bad about themselves. and what do we do when we feel bad? we tend to make others feel bad. "you're so cocky" instead of "wow, that was really good, you must have worked hard to be able to do that"

I am simply observing a trend I am seeing so the next time you hear someone say "oh, they are so cocky" take a look to see who is saying it and in what context. was this blog post cocky?

business crossover

so if you read my blog you ma have noticed that I haven't written on it in a couple of months. this is one part laziness and four parts crappy computer. But thanks largely to mama I have a new computer and the blog can return. I have a number of quirky and original thoughts that have crossed my mind that I will share with you, one of which is business cross over. allow me to explain.

back in april I was driving through downtown and drove by an adult store to which the window was painted with deals celebrating 4:20 (smoking weed on a specific day). I thought to myself that this was bizarre. Why is sex and the purchasable novelties around sex being used in conjunction with smoking weed? They are seperate. I'm sure for some people they are very much intwined but I have to think that for most people (whoa re sexually active) weed and sex do not go hand in hand. It didn't make sense to me for a sex shop who is in the business of literally selling sex, a topic many people are uncomfortable talking about, to align itself with illegal drugs, something many people want to distance themselves from. doesn't seem like smart business. But I am not a business man and do not own any businesses and then I thought of another business that does this and I would guess with great success.
Walking by a vitamins and nutrient store the other day and saw that they sold clothing in addition to all the protein poweder and vitamins. the clothing was inevitably that of the MMA variety. This is no doubt so that all the people who go and buy their protein muscle shakes can also go buy their be-dazzled shiny "tapout" shirts at the same time. maybe its a good business move. Thats all I will say about that.

pajama pants

pajamas in general are something I personally tend to associate with kids. not to say adults do not wear pajamas or pajama pants but when I think of who wears pajamas kids come to mind. I noticed a little trend about a week ago and that is teenagers wearing pajama pants with beer company prints. now when I think of beer and who drinks it I think of adults. Is it ironic that pajama pants (associated with youth) are made of beer prints (associated with adults) or is that just really clever marketing trying to get the young people to look "cool" and buy the product.... when they are old enough to enjoy it?

signal lights

do you ever notice that no 2 signal lights are the same. This is something I noticed as a young boy and never ceases to interest me. do you think that car companies look up the amount of signals per minute (we can call it spm) and ensure that their cars are different. why can't the signals be in unison with each other? it would be nice if I could just once have my signal lights match that of the vehicles around me.

olympic flame

I love watching the olympics. I always have. top athletes performing under pressure with such a prize and the whole world watching it is quite a spectacle. I also enjoy much of what the olympics brands itself about the world coming together and sharing in the experience.
Contrary to that I see and understand the dark side of the olympics. The side that has governments cut social spending and not only turn a blind eye but ensure that the world is uneducated about social problems. It was prevalent with social issues in Beijing and is prevalent as the olympics come to vancouver. There is also the cheating and scandals that have been involved in past games. One thing that stands out in my mind with every olympic games is how much hype is surrounding it and in a poof of 2 weeks it is over to only leave a memory.

With the olympic torch passing through kamloops last week (and I went out of my way to see it come through) I really felt that it captured what I view as the olympic spirit. It brought people together, there was excitement, pride, and celebration. It also was incredibly over hyped, exceptionally brief and for me slightly overshadowed by the security and how forced some of it was. for example the people had to stand at certain angles when lighting the torch and people running alongside the torch should security become a factor. I understand its need but physically seeing it be what I felt a bit over the top took away from the event.

It seems that the when talking about the olympics many people are polarized about the topic. so many in favor and drink in the product and lifestyle the olympics bring while others are passionately against it. I have mixed feelings about the entire process. What I think would be great is that the olympics were still strictly about competition. Not about epic opening ceremonies, marketing mascots, scandals, social problems, or any of that. In this day and age sports and competition is about so much more than the event itself. The olympic torch relay is another byproduct of this spectacle. Whether you love it or hate it that's how it is.

shopping cart chain

no doubt the shopping cart was a great idea. it definitely beats the basket, especially if you have to buy heavier items like milk. The cart is great but I have on major problem with it. It isn't that the push handle has more bacteria than a toilet seat and it isn't the squeaky wheels or the wheels that don't work it is the chain to make you return the cart. not all grocery stores have the carts where you must put in change (a quarter or a loonie) to get your cart out but those chains I don't like. during the shopping experience if I want to stand on the bottom of my cart and glide around the store, which I still do, that little chain nub digs into my chest. It's not very enjoyable. Another reason I don't like the chain is when I am returning the cart to the row of carts. the length of the chain is such a pain. When you go to push your cart in the row you can see the chain of the cart in front dangling there but it poses a problem because as you push the cart in the chain gets wedged and so inevitably you end up having to push the cart in then pull it out enough to dig the chain out. All of this for a quarter! if the length of the chain was shorter then it would not get wedged in the cart which would be nice. If the chain was longer you could retrieve the chain and elevate it while you push your cart in to prevent the wedge. Of course the ultimate way around this dilemma is to put your chain up in the area where small children can sit to prevent the wedge from happening to the next person who will be putting there cart in the row. the next time you're at the grocery store you will think of this blog!

reflections of quitting christmas

So as I decided and blogged some time ago I had decided to give up christmas consumerism. Of course, I am not immune to the pressures of the season. I certainly felt the pressure, and I did cave..... kind of.

I participated in an office gift exchange which over the weeks I probably spent about $40
I bought a t-shirt for someone else.
I spent $50 on my partner
I donated $10 to the food bank
I donated $20 to another charity to contribute to building and outhouse and a goat in Africa
I also worked 12 hours of gift wrapping with the proceeds going to the local sexual assault centre.

I also bought myself some presents but I don't know if I count that as christmas spending or money I would spend on myself or giving myself an excuse to spend money.

anyways, here are my thoughts:
to my own surprise when it came closer to the day instead of receiving lots of questioning and teasing I hardly received any. Almost everyone seemed to respect my decision and thought it was ok. at least this is my interpretation.

One thing that surprised me as that for the few gifts I did give out I expected bigger reactions from the recipients. One particular case sticks out where the recipient said thank you and as far as I can tell enjoyed the gift but I wanted more of a reaction. I felt like "it's a big deal that I am giving this. you're special because you ARE receiving something when others close to me are not. give me some gratitude" I then realized that it was just my ego wanting to be overly fed and that the response I had received for the gift was completely appropriate. I didn't need anything more but I think I had expected more of a thanks.

part of me did miss the excitement of shopping and giving and receiving gifts. the excitement of buying for others and thinking about what to buy them, wrapping the gifts, and of course waiting and wondering what is in the gifts for me and anxiously waiting for others to open the gifts I had bought them.

On the other hand I did not miss anything as far as the reasons for quitting christmas. I didn't miss the stress of shopping and more than anything I did not miss having an empty wallet.

as a final conclusion: I'm glad I did it but at the exact same time I don't know if I would do it again, or if I did do it again if I would do it as rigid as I was this year. maybe I could just tone it back. it was certainly a learning experience.