Sunday 13 February 2011
you look tired
a friend of mine told me I looked tired not long ago. I kind of shrugged and said I felt tired. a couple weeks later I told her I thought she looked tired on that day, she turned around and said "so you're saying I look like shit". now she said this in somewhat of a joking tone but I could tell she wasn't thrilled at my observation. We got into a conversation about how she thinks when people say that to her that they are really insulting her overall appearance as opposed to noticing heavy eyelids or darker circles. Apparently the word 'tired' holds a lot of hidden messages and feelings. do lots of people think this? should I never tell anyone that they look tired? was she saying I looked like shit? meh, life moves on and I write blogs. wha da ya gonna do?
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1 comment:
You're hilarious. And ridiculous, but in the most precious way, of course.
Telling someone they look tired is an expression of empathy, no? You do know how it feels to be tired, you can relate with her dimmed energy? Plus, 'looking tired' is more than skin deep, obviously - it's a manifestation of sometimes great achievement and a moment to bear it all and cool down, or emotional burden that was dealt with, nothing is ever just one thing. Looking tired. Perhaps someone does 'look like shit', and if they take offense, I think they may be missing an opportunity to be real and up front with what may be causing them to have a 'diminished glow' or 'bags under their eyes', and to be honest with themselves enough to maybe consider what they may do to ease themselves. Or at least take an opportunity to laugh at yourself - right, sometimes this leaves you feeling less like the world is against you. Incredibly powerful, enough to even change the mind of someone who is thinking 'does he think I look like shit?'. That's insecurity, that's an emotional burden, there's something going on there.
As I am aware of it, recognition occurs and emotional centers of the brain are triggered - frontal cortex, and amygdala, if I'm not mistaken. It's what people have evolved to do with processing sight, sound, touch, thought, etc.
Since it happened to you, you know how it feels, it's actually a sign of incredible emotional intelligence on your part. Socially, you are adept to recognizing the states of human affairs - never squander that, but grow from it and make it your strength!
Take care Marcus!
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