The bangkok experience

I arrived in Bangkok the night before my tour was to start. I got in late and after a couple weeks of dorm rooms I thought I would splurge and pay for a hotel room, the hotel the tour was to start out of. All prearranged, complete with airport pickup, it was all very easy. The next morning, feeling rejuvinated by having a large comfortable bed and all the hours I could want to lounge in it I eventually got out of bed and killed time. I had a breakfast, worked out, spent some time on the internet etcetera. When all that was done I had about 2.5 hours until the orientation meeting to start the tour. I figured I'd go explore Bangkok.

It started like any other stroll. "Where should I walk?" I thought to myself. Naturally I pulled out the phone and looked up Google maps. On it I saw "grand palace" about 4 km from the hotel and thought 'seems like a place worth visiting' so I set out. After starting my stroll and walking for about 20 minutes I consulted my phone again. I didn't have an offline map so all I could use was a rather broad picture of the city, but this would be adequate because the palace was right by the river, which I would surely notice on my walk. I kept talking thinking I should see a landmark soon. Shopping centres are often in Google maps and I hadn't seemed to cross any. After about 15 minutes more walking I figured I should actually figure out where I am. In doing so I realized that out of the hotel I took a left and not a right and as a result, was walking east instead of west. I was going further away from my intended destination.

'Oh well' my brain said 'now you get to see more of the authentic Bangkok. When youve walked far enough just turn around and walk back.' So I kept walking. Like any major city, there are many transport options and Bangkok is no different. Train, boat, taxi, tuktuk, and motorcycle taxi are all viable options here. The more I walked the more I thought about going far and simply getting a tuk tuk back. I have a soft spot for tuktuks. As I was walking and watching the traffic I saw that the majority of people in the tuktuks were white tourists. By contrast, the majority of people on the motorcycle taxis seems to be locals. 'I could take a motorcycle taxi!' The more I walked and watched the motorcycles the more I wanted to take one. It's not everyday you get to ride on a motorcycle in Bangkok.

I turned around in my walking and thought several thoughts about safety, how nobody on earth knew what I was doing, how fun it would be, questioned if I could be fearless enough to have this experience etc. Eventually I just thought 'fuck it' and approached a motorcycle stand. I walked up to the guy and he didn't speak English. Nothing point at my phone couldn't solve. Upon looking at the phone he started up his motorcycle.... Only to give me the snub. You see, a young girl probably about 16, approached wanting a ride. I didn't exist anymore and he told her to hop on. She made a look at him and a look at me that clearly indicated 'but he was here first.' She laughed and hopped on, I laughed because I'm a foreigner who doesn't speak the languege as opposed to a teenage girl who does. So I kept on my merry way and saw another motorcycle stand a block up the road that had more than one driver. Game on. Quickly, I was surrounded by 3 bangkokians (is that a word?) None of which spoke English, but all of which glad to give me a ride for a price that is more than a local would pay, but far less than what I would pay at home. I didn't care. I was going to go in a motorcycle and haggling and extra $3 wasn't going to stop me. The fellow who agreed to drive me had no idea where I needed to go, but his colleague told him so he seemed confident. We were on our way. Before long, I was riding in the back of a motorcycle riding around the streets of Bangkok. It was awesome.

Amongst my joy and excitement and having this experience we soon pulled into a freeway and were zipping many kilometres to get to the grand palace. In my mind the trip was about 10 kms. It shouldn't take more than a few minutes. Excitement turn to curiosity 'why is this taking so long?' 'where is he taking me' 'this is way further than I expected'. About 25 minutes into the ride I realized my driver was lost. ' Oh well, more ride for the money.' We pre-negotiated the price.

After about the 35th minute my driver pulled over and gestured to a place that looked palace-ish. Ride was over. I didn't get off the bike. Something was wrong. I consulted my crappy zoomed out Google map, not being able to read the street names and read the street signs. I knew they didn't match. We weren't at the grand palace.

I pointed to grand palace on the map. He pointed to the palace we were parked near and put his hands together and bowed. As if to say ' this is the grand palace'. I knew I shouldn't get off the bike, because then I could be stranded and I had NO IDEA where I was. Instead, I did some quick thinking and asked him to take me to the national museum (less than 100metres from the palace). Well, we drove around another 10 minutes or so before we finally did arrive at destination. My thoughts confirmed that I was not at the grand palace originally. Here I was though, made it to the grand palace. In spite of my enthusiasm for doing the motorcycle cab and navigating what could have been a bad situation I looked at my watch and saw that I only had about 1 hour until my meeting started. I arrived, and it was time to turn back.

I didn't know the exact distance but I figured that was walkable in one hour. Upon checking the Mao I realized that in all my internetting earlier in the day, and Mao referencing on the motorcycle that I had no battery left. I decided to turn the phone off in an attempt to preserve the battery should I need it. I knew I had to walk east, I knew it was a few km, and I knew what some of the buildings near the hotel looked like. I could do this right? 'we'll see' my inner thoughts said.

I started walking. In my walking I did end up seeing the real Bangkok. I saw markets, shops, people arguing, a girl pee in the streets, a polluted canal, and much more. I was getting the authentic experience I wanted. So I kept walking. One thought was about how I wanted to know I was walking in the right direction, another thought looking at the clock wondering if I could make it back in time. I didn't want to show up late for the meeting and be " that guy". So I kept walking, the guessing of myself growing, the thought that I might not get there in time increasing. All I had was the sun as the compass. 'Ok' if I can't figure it out by 5:30 then I will get a cab.

I kept walking in what I thought was sort-of-kinda-maybe east. Well, 5:30 came and went. I asked a traffic cop where it was using the hotel key to show the address. He pointed me in the direction I was going. I was right! Then he said in very broken engligh "take cab, far". Rejuvinated with navigational confidence I simply thanked him and started walking. Well, 10 minutes later, not just 20 minutes from the meeting time I couldn't see any of the landmarks I took note of earlier in the day to guide me back. This was a problem because the landmarks were 30 storey apartment buildings. If I couldn't see them by now, I was never going to walk back in time.

I approached another motorcycle taxi stand. With much less enthusiasm and thrill I asked to be taken to hotel. Guy I asked didn't know where it was, his friend didn't know where it was, some guy in the area trying to be helpful didn't know where it was, so evenntually the driver asked wheat I'm assuming is a young university student if they knew. She did not, but did look up the address, and when that failed... Called the hotel directly. Wow! I just had 4 people try and help, one of which went way above and beyond. I was partially laughing at the situation and pleased for having this local interaction. I was also very aware of the time. 14 minutes left.

We negotiated the fare and we were off, first driving in the wrong direction so the driver could do a U-turn. It took a few minutes to get sorted but as we drive along the freeway I realized that although I had my direction correct, I wasn't even close on distance. It would have taken a good couple hours to walk it. I got to the hotel at 5:57. Paid the driver, ran up to the room to grab my necessary paperwork and then came back down to lobby. I sat in the chair before the time switched over to 6:31.

I was in time. By seconds.

"Welcome everybody." The meeting started.